You’re in a meeting and somebody asks you a question you weren’t expecting. You know you have an answer, but suddenly it’s much harder to find the words. Perhaps your heart starts beating faster, you become very aware of everyone waiting for you, or you simply lose your train of thought. If you’ve experienced this, it’s easy to assume that something has gone wrong with your English. You might decide you need more vocabulary, more preparation or simply more practice before the next meeting.
Sometimes, of course, more English is what you need. There may be a word you don’t know or a way of expressing something that you haven’t learnt yet. But that isn’t always the whole story. Pressure can also make it harder to think clearly and use language that would normally be available to you.
What can happen under pressure
When something feels important, particularly when we feel watched or evaluated, the body can respond to that pressure. Your heart might beat faster, your breathing may change and you may notice tension in your jaw, shoulders or elsewhere in your body. At the same time, thinking clearly and finding the words you want can become more difficult. That can be particularly frustrating when you know you would have answered the same question quite comfortably in a different situation.
There’s something else worth remembering too. If you’re doing all of this in a second, third or fourth language, you already have more to manage. You’re listening, thinking about what you want to say, choosing the language to express it and responding to the people around you, often within a few seconds. So if your English sometimes feels less accessible when the pressure rises, it doesn’t automatically mean that your English has suddenly become worse. The situation itself may be making speaking more difficult.
One of my clients, a senior manager in Poland, once described it to me like this: “When I feel judged, I suddenly can’t access the words I know.” That distinction matters because if pressure is part of what’s happening, learning another twenty words the night before your meeting may not be the only thing that helps.
What can you do about it?
The good news is that there are practical things you can try. I use several simple techniques with the professionals I work with, but the important thing is to practise them when you’re not in the middle of a difficult meeting. If you only remember a breathing technique when you’re already panicking about a presentation, it’s much harder to use. Try these tools at ordinary times too, so they become familiar. Then, when you do find yourself under pressure, you’re not trying to remember something you’ve only done once. Here are three that I often come back to.
The physiological sigh
The physiological sigh is a breathing technique that involves two inhales followed by a longer exhale. It’s simple, discreet and something you can try before a meeting, presentation or other situation where you know you may feel under pressure. Take a breath in through your nose, then take a second, smaller breath in. Breathe out slowly through your mouth, allowing the exhale to be longer than the inhales.
You don’t need to sit cross-legged in a darkened room or announce to your colleagues that you’re regulating your nervous system. You can simply take a moment before you join the Teams call or while you’re sitting outside the meeting room. Try it once or twice and notice what happens. You may find that your breathing slows or that you feel a little less tense. The point isn’t to make yourself completely calm. It’s simply to give yourself a moment before you have to speak.
Jaw release
When we’re tense, we often hold that tension somewhere in the body, and the jaw is a common place for it to show up. You may not even realise you’re doing it until you deliberately check. I became very aware of this during my ten years as a professional singer. Tension in the jaw can affect how freely you use your voice, so learning to notice and release it was part of performing.
Before you speak, notice what your jaw is doing. If it feels tight, let it loosen for a few seconds. You can gently move it from side to side or simply allow a little space between your teeth. It’s a tiny thing, but it can help you become aware of how much tension you’re carrying before you start speaking.
Grounding
If your thoughts are racing before a meeting or presentation, bringing your attention back to something physical can help you reconnect with what’s happening around you. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice the chair underneath you. Take a breath and pay attention to what you can physically feel for a few seconds. You’re not trying to get rid of every nervous thought. You’re simply giving your attention somewhere else to go for a moment. Then come back to the conversation.
This month: One more thing worth trying
There’s an interesting piece of research by Alison Wood Brooks at Harvard Business School looking at the way we interpret nerves before performing. In her studies, people who were encouraged to think of themselves as excited rather than trying to calm themselves performed better on tasks including public speaking. That doesn’t mean saying “I’m excited” will magically make your nerves disappear. I don’t think it’s particularly helpful to pretend you’re feeling something you’re not.
But there is a useful idea behind it. The physical sensations we associate with nervousness, such as a faster heartbeat and feeling more alert, don’t necessarily mean something is going wrong. So rather than telling yourself, I have to calm down, you could experiment with a different interpretation. Perhaps, My body is getting ready for something important, or even, I’m nervous because this matters to me. See whether either feels useful to you. If it doesn’t, leave it. Not every technique works for every person.
Something to try this month
This month, I’d like you to experiment rather than try to change everything at once. Choose one of the three tools in this post and practise it when there isn’t much pressure. You could try the physiological sigh before an ordinary meeting, notice and release your jaw before a phone call, or spend a few seconds feeling your feet on the floor before you speak. Then pay attention to what you notice.
You may find one technique useful and another does very little for you. That’s fine. The point is to start building a small collection of things you know you can try when speaking English feels more difficult. I’ve also put the three tools together in my free PDF, with simple instructions so you can keep them somewhere handy. You’ll find the link below.
And remember, if you sometimes hesitate or lose your words when speaking English under pressure, don’t immediately assume the answer is to study harder. Sometimes you may need more English. Sometimes you may need more practice. Sometimes the pressure of the situation may simply be making it harder to use what you already know. Take care of yourself this month, and I’ll see you in May.
Bye for now,
Tanya
These are the questions I hear most from the professionals I work with, on the topic of speaking English under pressure. If yours is not here, feel free to ask it in the comments.
Questions I hear most about speaking English under pressure
Why does my English get worse when I am nervous? I know the words but they just disappear.
This is one of the most common things I hear, and it has a straightforward explanation. When your brain registers pressure, it activates your fight-or-flight response. Part of what happens in that process is that your prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for language, reasoning and clear thinking, partially goes offline. The words have not gone anywhere. Your brain simply cannot reach them in that moment. This is why more vocabulary or more preparation does not solve it. The problem is not what you know. It is access to what you know under pressure.
I prepare really thoroughly before meetings and presentations, but it still goes wrong in the moment. Why?
Preparation helps with content. It does not help with your nervous system. When the pressure rises in the room, your body responds to the threat it perceives, regardless of how well you have prepared. The tools that actually help in the moment, the physiological sigh, grounding, jaw release, work at the level of your body rather than your mind. That is why they work when preparation alone does not.
Is this just a confidence problem? Everyone tells me I just need more confidence.
It is not a confidence problem, and "just be more confident" is genuinely unhelpful advice for most people. What you are experiencing is a nervous system response to pressure. Confidence tends to come after repeated experience of handling those moments, not before. The tools in this post give you a way to begin handling the moments, which is where confidence actually comes from.
I speak English well in casual conversations. Why is it so much harder in formal situations?
The difference is stakes. In a casual conversation, the perceived risk is low and your nervous system stays relatively calm. In a formal situation, your brain registers evaluation, judgment, or visibility, and the fight-or-flight response kicks in. The English is the same. The physiological state is completely different. That is why the same person can be fluent over coffee and struggle in a boardroom. It is not inconsistency. It is biology.
Does this get easier? Or will I always feel like this under pressure?
It genuinely gets easier, but not by itself. The nervous system learns through repeated experience. Each time you use a tool like the physiological sigh consistently, each time you speak in a pressured moment and survive it, your brain updates its threat assessment. Over time, situations that once triggered a strong response begin to feel more manageable. This is not about eliminating nerves entirely. It is about changing your relationship with them so they stop getting in the way.
I have tried breathing exercises before and they did not work for me. Why should the physiological sigh be any different?
Most breathing exercises ask you to slow down and breathe deeply, which can actually increase anxiety in some people because it draws attention to the breath itself. The physiological sigh works differently. The double inhale followed by a long complete exhale directly activates the vagus nerve and triggers a parasympathetic response. It is not a relaxation exercise. It is a physiological mechanism. If you have not tried it specifically, it is worth giving it a proper attempt before ruling it out.
Have a question about speaking English at work? I may have already answered it here.
https://www.findyourenglishvoice.uk/faq
Resources: Free PDF, link below.
You don’t have an English problem, you have a pressure problem: www.findyourenglishvoice.uk/free-guide
Find Your English Voice https://mybook.to/FindYourEnglishVoice
FYEV Workbook: https://mybook.to/FYEV-Workbook
Free discovery call: https://www.findyourenglishvoice.uk/
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Find Your English Voice. findyourenglishvoice.uk