Stop Staying Silent in Meetings: How to Contribute Without Overthinking

There is a particular kind of silence that many professionals who work in English will recognise. It isn’t the silence of having nothing to say. You have something to contribute, but while you’re thinking about how to say it, the conversation moves on and the moment passes. You leave the meeting thinking about what you could have said. Perhaps you knew exactly what you wanted to contribute but couldn’t find a way into the conversation quickly enough. Perhaps you were worried about getting the English right, or simply needed a little longer to organise your thoughts.

This month, we’re looking at meetings and presentations. These can be challenging situations in any language, and working in a second or third language gives you even more to manage. You’re listening, thinking, choosing your words, following the conversation and deciding when to speak, often while the discussion is moving quite quickly.

One of my students, an IT security specialist in Finland, described his experience like this:

“I find it hard to start speaking in big groups. Feeling nervous makes me feel panicky and that can make it more difficult to remember things. But the most important part for me has been that I am able to make my point and join discussions with others in English. Without the practice, I would not have been able to do that.”

What I like about his comment is the emphasis on practice. If speaking in meetings is difficult for you, it doesn’t automatically mean you need to learn more English. Sometimes you might, of course. There may be vocabulary you need or ways of expressing yourself that you haven’t learnt yet. At other times, you may know perfectly well what you want to say but find it harder to access that English when you’re under pressure.

Why meetings can feel different

A one-to-one conversation usually gives you more room to pause, rephrase or check that you’ve understood correctly. Meetings can move much faster, particularly when several people are contributing and the conversation changes direction quickly. There may also be more at stake. Perhaps senior colleagues are there, you’re presenting an idea you care about or you know that your contribution matters. All of that can make you more conscious of how you’re speaking. It can be useful to notice the difference between what you find difficult about the English itself and what becomes difficult because of the situation. They may need different kinds of practice.

Give yourself one goal

Before your next meeting, decide on one contribution you would like to make. It doesn’t need to be impressive. You could ask a question, make an observation, agree with something and add your own point, or ask somebody to clarify something. Having one thing in mind before the meeting can make it easier to get started. You’re not going into the room thinking, I need to speak more. You have something specific you intend to contribute. Once you’ve done it, anything else is a bonus. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually give yourself more opportunities to speak.

How to enter a fast-moving conversation

One of the frustrations I hear from international professionals is knowing when to speak. You’ve finally put your thought together, but somebody else has already started talking. By the time they finish, another person has joined in and the conversation has moved somewhere else entirely. A few simple phrases can make it easier to step in.

You might say, “Can I add something here?”, “Could I just add something?” or “I’d like to come back to that point.”

These aren’t complicated phrases, which is exactly why they’re useful. You don’t want to be searching for elaborate English at the same time as you’re trying to join a fast-moving conversation. It’s worth practising one or two of them aloud before you need them. Choose the ones that sound most like you. The aim isn’t to memorise a long list of meeting expressions. It’s to have a couple of useful phrases that are easy to reach for when you need them.

What about presentations?

Presentations bring a different kind of pressure because, for a while at least, everybody really is listening to you. It can be tempting to prepare by writing out exactly what you’re going to say and trying to memorise it. That may feel reassuring beforehand, but it can also make things more difficult if you forget a sentence or somebody interrupts you with a question.

I prefer to work with a clear structure. Know how you want to begin, the main points you need to cover and how you want to finish. You can still prepare useful phrases or practise sections that you find difficult, but you don’t need to memorise every word. If you know your subject well, give yourself some freedom to explain it in slightly different ways. That is much closer to what happens when you speak naturally, and it also means that forgetting one particular sentence doesn’t have to derail the whole presentation.

Something to try this month

If you often leave meetings wishing you had said more, keep it simple at first. Before your next meeting, decide on one contribution you want to make and choose one phrase you can use to enter the conversation. You might decide, for example, that you’re going to ask one question and use “Can I add something here?” when you see an opportunity. Notice what happens. Was it easier to speak because you had already decided what you wanted to do? Was finding the right moment still difficult? Did you spend too long trying to make the sentence perfect before you started?

That gives you something useful to work with next time.

Throughout June, I’ll be talking more about meetings and presentations, including how to prepare, how to step into a conversation and what to do when you lose your train of thought. If you have something to say in a meeting, you deserve the chance to say it. You don’t have to become the loudest person in the room. Start with one contribution and see where that takes you.

Take care,

Tanya

Find Your English Voice is a space for international professionals who want to feel more comfortable speaking English at work, especially when the pressure is on. Whatever brought you here, you’re very welcome.

Tanya Kaczanow is the founder of Find Your English Voice. She works with international professionals who want to use English with more calm, clarity and confidence when it matters.

Questions I hear most about speaking English in meetings

Why do I go quiet in meetings even though my English is good enough?

There may be several reasons. Meetings can move quickly and you have to listen, think about your response, choose your words and find an opportunity to speak, sometimes within a few seconds. If the meeting feels particularly important, you may also become more conscious of your English than you would be in an ordinary conversation.

It’s worth noticing what actually gets in your way. Do you need more time to formulate your answer? Are you unsure how to enter the conversation? Are you worried about making a mistake? Or is there genuinely some English you need to learn? Once you know what is happening, you have a much better idea of what to practise.

How do I know when to speak in a meeting?

You won’t always find a lovely gap waiting for you. In a lively meeting, you may need to signal that you want to contribute. A phrase such as “Can I add something here?” or “Could I just come back to that point?” can help. Listen for a natural pause rather than talking over somebody, then use your phrase and make your point.

What if I start speaking and lose my train of thought?

Pause for a moment. You can say “Let me put that another way” and start the thought again more simply. You don’t need to recover the exact sentence you had planned. Think about the point you wanted the other people in the meeting to understand and find another way to express it.

Should I prepare exactly what I’m going to say before a meeting?

It depends on the meeting and what you need to contribute. Preparing your main point, some useful vocabulary and perhaps an opening sentence can be helpful. Memorising everything word for word is usually less flexible because real conversations rarely follow the script we imagined beforehand. For an important contribution, try making a few notes rather than writing a complete speech. Know what you want to communicate and give yourself some freedom over the exact words you use.

How can I stop feeling so nervous before presentations?

You may not be able to stop feeling nervous completely, particularly if the presentation matters to you. Preparation and practice can make the situation more familiar, though. Know your structure and practise your opening particularly well so you know how you’re going to get started. You can also rehearse answering some of the questions you’re likely to be asked rather than only practising the presentation itself.

Does speaking in meetings get easier with practice?

It can. Practising gives you a chance to find out what helps you and what you still find difficult. You might discover that entering the conversation becomes easier once you have a couple of phrases you’re comfortable using, while answering unexpected questions is something you still want to work on. Rather than expecting yourself to become completely comfortable in every meeting, look for the small things that are becoming easier and keep practising the parts that aren’t.

If you’d like to ask me a question about using English at work, you’re very welcome to get in touch through the contact page.