Why Can I Speak English Confidently in Some Situations but Not Others?
Perhaps you can chat comfortably with colleagues over lunch. You can explain a complicated issue in an email and give a well-prepared presentation without too much difficulty. Then somebody senior asks you a question in a meeting and your mind goes blank. Your English hasn’t changed in the space of a few minutes, so why does speaking suddenly feel so much harder?This is something I hear often from professionals who use English at work. They may describe themselves as lacking confidence, but when we look more closely, they aren’t uncomfortable in every situation. There are usually particular people, places or types of conversation that make speaking more difficult. Recognising those patterns can help you understand what is really happening and decide what kind of practice you need.
Your confidence may depend on the situation
We often talk about confidence as though we either have it or we don’t. In reality, most of us feel more confident in some circumstances than in others. You may speak easily with people you know well but become much more self-conscious around senior colleagues. You might feel comfortable when you have slides to guide you, then struggle when the questions begin. Perhaps one-to-one conversations are fine, but it becomes difficult to find a way into a fast-moving group discussion.
There may also be situations in which you understand everything but aren’t sure when to speak. By the time you’ve decided that it’s appropriate to join the conversation, somebody else has already started talking. These differences matter. If your English were the whole problem, you would expect speaking to be equally difficult everywhere. When the difficulty appears mainly in certain circumstances, it suggests that something about the situation is affecting you. I sometimes think of this as a fear fingerprint. It’s the individual pattern behind the moments when you hesitate, become tense or lose access to words that you normally know. Your pattern won’t necessarily look like anybody else’s.
What makes some situations feel more difficult?
Speaking a second language asks a lot of the brain. You’re listening to other people, working out what you want to say, choosing the language to express it and paying attention to how the conversation is developing. In a meeting, you may have only a few seconds to do all of that. If you’re also worried about being judged, making a mistake or taking too long, the task becomes harder.
This is particularly common when there is a sense of being evaluated. A conversation with a trusted colleague may feel relaxed, while answering the same question in front of a director can feel completely different. The words may be familiar, but the situation carries more weight. Unexpected questions can create a similar problem. When you’ve prepared, you already have some idea of the language you’re going to use. When a question takes you by surprise, you have to listen, think and respond at the same time. If you believe you must answer immediately and perfectly, it is hardly surprising that your mind sometimes struggles to cooperate.
Cultural differences can add another layer. In some workplaces, people wait for a clear pause before speaking. In others, conversations move quickly and people regularly talk over one another. If the rules are different from those you’re used to, you may be trying to work out not only what to say, but when you’re allowed to say it. None of this means that you’re incapable or that your English has failed you. It means that some situations place greater demands on you than others.
A personal example
I was a professional singer for ten years and performed in front of thousands of people. You might imagine that standing in front of a classroom would have felt easy after that. It didn’t. On my first day as a teacher, I froze in the middle of a sentence. I started moving things around on my desk, hoping the students wouldn’t notice while I tried to remember what I was saying. My mouth was so dry that my top lip stuck to my teeth. I knew the subject and I had prepared the lesson. The problem wasn’t that I had suddenly forgotten how to communicate. I was used to being on a stage as a singer, but being responsible for a classroom full of students was new.
Over time, teaching became familiar too. I still felt nervous with some classes, particularly at the beginning, but I started to notice which situations affected me most. That helped me prepare for the things I genuinely found difficult instead of telling myself that I simply needed to be more confident. The experience taught me that confidence doesn’t automatically transfer from one situation to another. You can be completely at ease in one part of your professional life and feel very exposed in another.
Look for your own pattern
Think about the last few times you spoke English at work. When did speaking feel relatively easy? When did you hesitate, go quiet or find it difficult to think? Try to be as specific as you can. Perhaps you’re comfortable with your immediate team but struggle when senior managers are present. Maybe prepared presentations are fine, but you dread the questions afterwards. You may find it easy to answer somebody else’s point but difficult to be the first person to speak.
It can also help to notice what was happening physically. Did your breathing change? Did your jaw become tense? Did you start speaking more quickly than usual? Were you concentrating so hard on avoiding mistakes that you lost track of what you wanted to say? You’re not looking for another reason to criticise yourself. You’re trying to understand the circumstances in which speaking becomes harder. Once you can see the pattern, you have something much more useful than the thought, “I’m not confident in English.” You know what to practise.
Practise the situation, not just the language
If speaking to senior colleagues is difficult, you don’t have to begin by volunteering to give a long presentation to the board. Look for a smaller opportunity to speak when one more senior person is present. You might ask a short question, clarify one point or offer a brief update. If unexpected questions are your difficulty, ask somebody you trust to give you questions without telling you what they’ll be. You could also choose a work-related topic and speak about it aloud without preparing first. The aim isn’t to produce an impressive answer. It’s to become more familiar with beginning before you have planned every sentence.
If joining group conversations is the problem, listen for the phrases other people use to enter the discussion. Choose one or two that feel comfortable and try them in a conversation where the pressure is fairly low. You’re not trying to remove every trace of nervousness before you speak. You’re giving yourself manageable experiences of doing the thing you usually avoid. With time, a situation that once felt unfamiliar can begin to feel more ordinary.
What could you notice this month?
For the next few weeks, pay attention to when your English feels available and when it seems to disappear. Notice who is there, what you’re being asked to do and whether you had time to prepare. Think about whether the difficulty is finding the language, managing the pressure or knowing how to enter the conversation. It may be a mixture of all three. Then choose one situation to work on. Keep the first step small enough that you are likely to take it.
There is a big difference between believing that you’re simply bad at speaking English and recognising that you find unexpected questions from senior colleagues difficult. The first thought leaves you with an enormous problem. The second gives you somewhere to begin. Your English may be the same in every situation, but your experience of using it isn’t. Once you understand what makes certain moments harder, you can practise for those moments more effectively.
Bye for now...
Tanya
If you have a question about speaking English at work, you’re welcome to contact me at tanya@findyourenglishvoice.uk.
Questions I often hear about confidence and speaking English at work
Why do I speak English confidently with my team but go quiet around senior people?
Speaking in front of senior colleagues can feel more exposing because you may be thinking about how you’re being judged. Part of your attention is then taken up by monitoring your language and worrying about mistakes. Begin with small contributions in lower-pressure situations rather than expecting yourself to feel completely comfortable straight away.
Why does my mind go blank when somebody asks me an unexpected question?
An unexpected question gives you very little time to listen, decide what you think and choose the English to express it. Pressure can make that process even harder. It can help to practise answering ordinary questions without preparing first and to become comfortable with taking a moment before you answer.
Why can I give a presentation but struggle during the discussion afterwards?
A presentation gives you structure. You know what you plan to say and may have slides or notes to guide you. A discussion is less predictable, so you have to respond in real time. This is a different speaking skill and one that you can practise separately.
How can I identify the situations that affect me most?
Think about several recent conversations rather than focusing only on the worst one. Notice who was present, whether you had prepared and what you were expected to do. Comparing the easier moments with the harder ones often reveals a pattern.
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